Are you working your way through a “Winter Bucket List” right now? Have you been putting ideas down for a “Spring Bucket List”?
It’s time we set the record straight on seasonal lists and what we call them. Because the name really does make a difference – in what goes on the list and in how our pursuit of them plays out.
Let me explain. We all know that a bucket list traditionally speaking contains what we hope to do in our lifetime. As in those once-in-a-lifetime experiences, along with new ventures we want to sample. They’re goals, aspirations, and sometimes outright fantasies.
Our bucket lists can be both serious and whimsical at the same time. I’d like to someday take a photography class. But I’m also itching to have someone smash a cream pie in my face.
And they can comprise our intentions for a shorter period of time in our lives (a “season,” if you will), as family bucket lists do.
But there is a big difference between a bucket list and fun pursuits we hope to do (again). Or between a bucket list and new things we want to sample that aren’t particularly meaningful to us, just amusing. Because there isn’t the same passion behind those. There isn’t the life-changing, memory-making power to a list of fun activities that a bucket list has.
And here’s the problem: when we call a list of seasonal activities a “bucket list” we short-change ourselves opportunities to go after our real bucket list.
The biggest frustration I hear moms voice is not having enough time. Being perennially busy. And I believe that’s universal to moms everywhere in our culture. So before you sit down to write that list I want you to ask yourself: “what have I always wanted to do that would fit this season?”
In other words, populate your calendar with the most important, most meaningful goals. Give yourself no more than three must-dos per season (or give yourself more than a season to finish them). Hopefully you have an ongoing honest-to-goodness bucket list that you can draw those from. And if this is time you want to spend as a family or with your kids, then the list you draw from should also be your family bucket list.
Then, if you feel like you’ll have more resources (money, time, energy, patience) to go after other ideas, create a separate list. Call it your “Winter Fun List” or “Spring Outings To Take” or some other name. And decide up front that anything accomplished off of that list will be a bonus.
Otherwise, you will find yourself driven to cross off items on the wrong list. You’ll consume your free time with busyness instead of being engaged and fulfilled. You’ll have the deadline of the season’s end serving as an additional stressor in your life. And you’ll likely come to the end with regret, rather than satisfaction.
Trust me, I know. I tried following a “Summer Bucket List” last year. It was mostly a flop. Our summer went better when I stopped referring to the list, because so much of our list turned out to be out of my control.
Mary Carver also knows the pitfalls of trying to keep up with a seasonal/holiday list. She expresses well the dangers in her post Giving Up on Christmas Bucket Lists.
Don’t make the same mistake. Create a life list, as well as a family bucket list for the years your share with growing children. Regularly search for opportunities to reach some of those goals. And don’t sacrifice those to the god of a seasonal activity list.
So tell me, is there something on your bucket list that can only be done during a specific season of year? Does it make sense to go after it this year? How would keeping a seasonal activity list separate from your bucket lists make a difference in your family life?
Great advice. I can easily get distracted by those fun activities and lose traction on the larger list.