![\"spell-success\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/larakrupicka.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/Spell-Success.png?resize=400%2C225\")
I nearly blew it again. My youngest daughter turned thirteen this past weekend and I almost didn\u2019t have a card for her. As a rule, I don\u2019t buy cards. I\u2019m a crafter and I know I can make a card that I like much better than anything I\u2019d find in the store. And I enjoy making them. But I have a hard time getting down to the business of making cards – it requires pulling out my stamping supplies and finding the creative bandwidth to generate a design.<\/p>\n
On my daughter\u2019s birthday, cards arrived in the mail from her grandmother and great aunt, as they do every year. Me? I missed sending my nephew\u2019s birthday card last month. And I\u00a0hadn’t started yet on my daughter’s card.<\/p>\n
I beat myself up about it. I want<\/em> to be like my mother and my husband\u2019s aunt. I want<\/em> to be the person who always sends a birthday card. And I\u2019ve always felt like a failure because I\u2019m not.<\/p>\n Then it occurred to me this week: whose priorities am I trying to live by? What do I really want success for me to look like?<\/p>\n I once met a dad who boasted about never missing one of his son\u2019s basketball games from youth league on through high school, despite holding a job that required him to travel. It was impressive. He had committed himself to being there. It fit his definition of success and he fulfilled it. But me? I\u2019ve missed gymnastics meets and soccer games. I haven\u2019t bent over backward to be present for every one of my girls\u2019 sporting events because that isn\u2019t what I feel called to do (not to mention that it\u2019s physically impossible when you have kids in events at the same time in different places). I\u2019ve never considered myself a failure for missing my girls\u2019 meets because perfect attendance was never part of my definition of success.<\/p>\n I realized this week that\u00a0as much as my bucket list gives me goals to shoot for, I have to pay attention also to those I am not shooting for. I have\u00a0ask myself, \u201cHow do I spell success as a mom? When my girls graduate from high school, what do I want to be able to say I did without (or nearly without) fail? What do I want to be able to check off my parenting bucket list? And what am I not<\/em> going after?\u201d<\/p>\n My priorities include serving a family meal every night of the week (success!), seeing them off to school every morning (success!), and making them a card for their birthdays (working on it). But my priorities don\u2019t necessarily include being that person that doesn\u2019t miss sending a card to everyone else. That might be a priority for me in another season of life.<\/p>\n I\u2019m ready to stop trying to measure myself against other people\u2019s priorities. I hope to recognize when I\u2019m tempted to feel bad about measuring up against a standard that I haven\u2019t subscribed to. And I\u2019m only including on my parenting bucket list those things that truly matter to me<\/em> – my<\/em> priorities.<\/p>\n Would you do the same? Think about how you spell success as a parent. Let go of trying to be the mom who throws Pinterest-worthy birthday parties if that\u2019s not you. Don\u2019t push yourself to execute the perfect bedtime tuck-in every night if it\u2019s not working. Find the goals that do suit you and pursue those. Put them on your bucket list so you, like the perfect attendance basketball dad, can celebrate your accomplishment when the time comes.<\/p>\n\n