What would make Mom’s day? If you’re in the midst of shopping and preparing for Mother’s Day, that question is probably on your mind. And maybe you’ve even asked the mom in your life that question directly (or had it asked of you). But asking that question doesn’t always make the celebration any easier. Often we get stuck in the rut of following the clichés. Flowers. Perfume. Breakfast in bed or brunch at a hotel. Those might all be nice, yet it’s hard not to think that mom occasionally deserves something better. Getting to what would be better, or best, is the challenge.
So what if you asked a different question instead? What if you asked your mom (or grandmother or mother-in-law) this question: what is one thing you’ve dreamed of doing, but haven’t done yet?
A friend told me that she recently asked her own mom, who is widowed and feeling the effects of age, that very question. She’s eager to hear the answer and actually gave her mother a deadline because she wants the opportunity to give her mom the gift of a dream come true. I’m interested to hear what comes of that – for both of them.
I’m not suggesting that everyone needs to break their Mother’s Day budget on an extravagant gift. But I do think that even the act of asking that question and then attentively listening to the answer could be a great gift to both you and your mom (and I also think it is an excellent question to be asking of fathers too, when their day comes).
Or ask her a question about her dreams in the past: what did you want most to do when you were a kid, or a teenager, or before you had kids? Moms lead complex lives, but we often see them in only one dimension – as “Mom.” Asking this question provides an opportunity for Mom to reminisce and share about herself as a whole person. You may learn something new about her. You may come to appreciate her in a new way. And she will appreciate being given the attention and chance to share her stories.
Asking Mom about her dreams, and listening to her answers, can be a powerful way to show you love her. And it just might inspire a gift for Mother’s Day, whether it’s in time for this year or next.
