Can I let you in on a secret? Someday I would like to take a pie in the face. A fluffy, gooey cream pie (whipped cream, chocolate cream, vanilla cream, doesn’t matter, just so long as it’s cream), right on the nose. It’s goofy, but I do. The wackiness of it is probably what appeals to me most. So I am putting it on my bucket list.
Most of us carry around in secret some dreams and ideas of things we would like to do – serious and wacky both. We hesitate to speak them out loud for fear of jinxing the possibility of them ever coming to pass. Or we may fear being ridiculed for having thoughts that are so far-fetched.
Sharing our greatest hopes and secret longings makes us vulnerable. But as researcher Brene Brown says in her book, Daring Greatly, “vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity.”
What better place to be vulnerable about our dreams than in our families.
This is why creating bucket lists in the context of family can be so powerful. As you create an authentic bucket list, you will encounter anxiety. But you will also find freedom in expressing yourself. In fact, there’s a good chance you will be buoyed up by the enthusiastic response you will get to most, if not all, of your dreams. Your spouse and your children will likely be amazed and impressed by the new you (dare I say, the whole you) they see emerging in the items on your list.
In return, you will gain a new understanding and new appreciation for each member of your family as they dare to put their life dreams out there before you. Yes, it may be a challenge to drop your notions of little Johnny one day becoming a lawyer when he grows up, after you discover he would rather be a physical therapist. And when your tween daughter shares her desire to go sky diving, you may be thinking, ‘over my dead body.’ But I bet you will also admire the gutsy spirit it takes to consider such a venture.
Sharing your dreams together in the form of bucket lists can be scary, but doesn’t a little fear come along with every adventure? And the adventure of knowing those in your family and being known on a more intimate level is worth every bit of fear.
Even if it’s the fear of not knowing when a cream pie might be coming your way.
What would it look like in your family if you all started creating bucket lists? Would you have the courage to admit what you have been hoping in your heart of hearts?
