Can’t See the Dangers For the Quirks

My 1999 Chevy Prizm was full of character – all those idiosyncrasies that you only find in a vehicle that’s seen a lot of years and thousands of miles. The interior light didn’t work. The heater moaned in cold weather. The front end shook at speeds over 65 miles an hour. The brake pedal squished down to the floor mat. I took pride in keeping that little old car going. To me these “quirks” were almost endearing.

It took someone else driving my car to point out that they were dangerous.

And sometimes it takes the perspective of an outsider to point out the dangers of the “quirks” in our daily lives to wake us up to the need for change.

We don’t mean to create a hectic schedule when we agree to add one more activity for our family. We can’t foresee how we’ll end up allowing a child to watch hour after hour of television as we work on a project we volunteered for. We know that all those fast food dinners on the run aren’t ideal, but we chalk them up to being part of the season we’re in.

It will get better, we think. But we don’t notice when it doesn’t.

It’s just for a short time, we rationalize, never marking an end date on the calendar.

It’s still drivable, so why not keep going?

I hear over and over from moms about how life has shifted off-center for them in one way or another. They see the quirks of how they’re living — the less-than-ideal circumstances that surround them. But they chalk it up to being part of modern life. They power through with a stoic attitude assuming it will all be worth any hardship. It’s a life with character, they think.

They see the quirks. But they don’t see the danger.

We all do this, in one way or another, don’t we? But are we brave enough to let someone into our lives to point out the dangers? Are we willing to let go, even when we know something is dangerous? It takes courage to face up to where we need to change.

To listen without being defensive when your husband points out that you’re too distracted by the book you’re trying to finish for book club to give your child the full attention they deserve as they stand in front of you (yep, I’ve been there). And to acknowledge that maybe this has become a habit, a habit that’s dangerous to your relationship with that child.

To agree with the teacher who suggests part of your child’s struggle in school may be from a lack of sleep. And to be willing to let a commitment so you can have him home in bed at an earlier time.

Sometimes those quirks in our lives are just that – those funny abnormalities that make for a good story. (Like the time I unstuck my frozen car door and climbed inside, only to find I’d gotten frozen in.) But sometimes they mask a costly hazard that it takes fresh eyes to detect, like brakes worn down nearly to metal.

Be alert to what those with fresh eyes have to say about your life. Be open to suggestions of what you could trade in. You just might find that it’s not so hard to part with the old ride, quirks and all. And a new ride could be waiting to knock your socks off.

What quirks have you been overlooking in your life? Are they just part of the territory? Or could they be a symptom of hidden danger? Or do you already know the danger and choose to ignore it?

Photo credit: “Old Car” by KB35 on Flickr made available under CC license