Nesting and Bucket List Experiences

What does a crafter do in advance of a bucket list experience? Create something!

Nesting & Bucket List ExperiencesI realized that this has been happening a bunch in my life lately, so I thought I’d share a little about it with the thought that it might inspire you. When you’re preparing for a bigger event in life, like a long-awaited trip, a move, or a graduation, there’s often this nesting impulse that takes hold. I would say it’s true for moms, but since I’ve seen my husband go there more than once (I can almost guarantee that a part of our house will be gutted and revamped in one way or another just a few days before we expect a bunch of guests), I’m thinking it’s an even broader phenomenon than that. In anticipation of seeming disorder or the unfamiliar, we crave control. Indeed, a study of nesting in pregnant women found a desire for control to be at work. We arrange, rearrange, organize and create to satisfy our need to have control.

For me, that means jumping into a new crafting project. Only five days before we left for Italy I found myself dashing out to the fabric store to buy some UltraIMG_2281 Fluffy fabric to make a neck pillow. I had come across more than one recommendation for taking one to make the long flight more bearable, while compiling my packing list. Which reminded me of a tutorial I’d recently seen for making one. And the urge struck.

I have to say that I was pretty relaxed about getting ready for our trip once I had the pillow stitched up. It did allow me to sleep better on the plane – well worth the mad scramble. Plus I can send it along with Katherine, my fifteen-year-old, when she heads out on her bucket list trip later this summer.

Now I’m in the midst preparing for another momentous occasion: sending our eldest daughter Bethany off to work as a lifeguard at camp for the. entire. summer. (Eek!) We’ve been shopping for a list of necessities – sport sandals, polarized sunglasses, sunscreen… And in the midst of the shopping and preparing, I found myself digging out scraps of fabric for another project. This time, I dove into making reusable snack bags for her to take to camp to carry munchies (when you’re buying Costco-sized boxes of Goldfish crackers, you start to wondSnackBagser about this kind of thing. I’m sure a whole bag will end up in the guard house at some point, but it’s nice to know she can take just handfuls of them along now and then too). I’d been inspired by another tutorial I’d seen and thought they’d be a fun gift to send her off with. Never mind that I gave them to her as they came off the sewing machine instead of wrapping them up with a bow.

Who knows what crafting urge will strike when it’s time to get Katherine ready. Maybe the already-made pillow will suffice. But I’m not counting on it. That nesting instinct can be pretty fierce. The psychology behind nesting before a big event explains why I do this. Understanding this urge allows me to give myself space to be that way. It allows me to be kind to myself and see the good that comes from something that otherwise looks like “distraction.”

How about you? Do you find yourself launching into projects – cleaning, organizing, cooking, crafting –  before a big event? Does it help knowing why you get this way?

 



Ever Felt Overwhelmed By Life? Me Too!

Me too!Yesterday I expected to have time to run out for groceries after I arrived home from work (I work several days each week in a church office). Except that there was the dentist appointment an hour later that I had forgotten about. Dinner ended up being “”baked potatoes & toppings bar” since I was relying on that grocery run for my original dinner plan. And then there were kids needing to be driven to the library and school issues to be worked out. Ultimately I had to leave my family to clean up after dinner to dash to my home office to meet a magazine article deadline. It was a stressful evening, to say the least.

Can you relate? Modern motherhood is a feat of multi-tasking unrivaled by any other calling. Talking with my friends, I find I’m not alone in feeling harried, hurried and pulled in dozens of directions. And as my stressful evening shows, it requires serious organizational skills.

Part of my problem last night (other than my own tendency to overcommit myself) was that I hadn’t updated my weekly planner. I have a Google calendar, which I love. My whole family shares it and we can see our schedules anytime anywhere. But that doesn’t always mean that we/I look at it all the time. I also have the Paprika app on my phone and iPad for menu planning and recipes. I can’t say enough about how it has revolutionized cooking and meal planning for me. But I don’t look at it every day until it’s time to cook.

What I do look at every morning and throughout the day, is my weekly planner. Because it’s a two-page 8.5” x 11” spread, I can write down my daily appointments and schedule, I copy my menu plan for each day from Paprika, and I track all of my to do lists, deadlines and responsibilities. When my family asks me to buy something, be somewhere or do something for them, I always ask “did you write it down for me?” Because if it’s not in writing (which I can copy or post in my planner), it probably won’t happen.

I can also attribute a large percentage of the bucket list goals I have reached to my weekly planner. I tell people often that it’s a proven fact that writing down your goals increases the odds you’ll reach them. Not only that, but breaking them into smaller steps, which I do regularly, is HUGE when it comes to tackling big (often important) life goals and dreams.

I love my weekly planner and benefit from it so much, I thought other moms could use it too. I launched the 2015 edition last fall. Now this year I’m making a newer, even better edition available.

2016DandilionCoversmallHere’s how the Bucket List Moms Weekly Organizer can help you not only stay on top of busy family life, but also get more done (seriously!) and reach one life goal after another:

  • Get the big picture of what’s coming for you and your family, while you’re sitting down having your morning coffee and can think straight (two-page monthly calendar spread).
  • Remember to set monthly goals for doing the things that matter most and that you enjoy: “date night,” family time and personal goals for yourself.
  • Cut down the overwhelm by focusing on just the upcoming week – and not just your schedule, but also your meal plan, the tasks you need to do as a volunteer or professional, those odd household chores or errands that you’d otherwise forget about. Each with their own slot by day, to further reduce the stress that comes from seeing them all as one mass of stuff to do (trust me, it helps).
  • Find inspiration to care for yourself and the things that set your insides buzzing, through weekly inspirational quotes, bucket list prompts, and space for jotting down your thoughts, dreams and ideas. Keeping them somewhere that you can see them will make you more likely to turn them into reality.
  • Get a sneak peek at upcoming Bucket List Life Dares from now through 2016. Each month you’ll find the dare noted at the start of the month so you can be part of taking the challenge and reaching even more of your bucket list goals.

For the next three weeks I am offering the Bucket List Moms 16-Month Weekly Organizer for a special launch savings of $10 (that’s 37% off the list price of $26.99 for the 15-month planner paperback planner). Plus subscribers to my newsletter will be receiving an exclusive discount code for another 25% off (so sign up now).

Not sure the format will work for you? Download the seven-week sample copy and start using it now. See the difference it makes for you and your family.

Holiday Helps for Harried Moms

It’s the most exhausting time of year! For moms the duties of kid schlepping, meal cooking, and overall household management, are joined by holiday baking, gift buying, card sending, and party coordinating. Put it all together and you end up with many mothers who are barely surviving. I’m right there with them!

1412SanDiegoFamWhy does it end up this way for so many of us so often? I believe it’s because in the midst of all the chaos there is also much joy and satisfaction to be had. Even just checking off tasks accomplished from our lists can be fulfilling because we know we’re playing an important role in our families.

But in case satisfaction is proving elusive for you this year, here are some hints and tips from my articles published in regional parenting magazines to help you navigate challenges like gift wrapping and sickness, as well as some encouragement for your new year.

Good-Looking Gifts That Are Good For the Planet

My new article, “Earth-Friendly Gift Wrap Alternatives,” offers ideas on how to make use of bags, tins, and other materials you have around the house to disguise your gifts this Christmas, along with some history behind gift-wrapping traditions. Check it out in the December issue of San Diego Family.

Sickness Plus a Holiday Can Still Equal Celebration

None of us plans to be sick during the holidays, but it happens more often than we like. The good news is that  sickness of any kind doesn’t have to derail the festivities entirely. In this month’s issue of Connecticut Parent I share insight from experts and moms who’ve been there on how you can adapt the celebration around a sickness – whether it be a garden-variety flu, a hospitalization, or a life-threatening condition.

Plan for a Bright 20151412AugustaFam

Forget the New Year’s resolutions. There’s a reason many people don’t like them: they don’t work. Instead, why not count down to 2015 with a list of things you can look forward to, or that can make life better, in the new year. Plan out 10 date nights, list 9 friends you will get together with, and so on. My article in this month’s issue of Augusta Family, “A New Year’s Countdown That Will Have You Looking Up,” offers 10 idea-starters for listing out what you want 2015 to look like. After all, it’s not too soon to be mapping out the next twelve months of your family’s bucket list aspirations!

Meal Planning, Pet Choosing, and Other Helps for Moms

Today I’m staring down two bushels of apples waiting to be cooked and pureed. That can only mean one thing: it’s fall. Cranking out our own fresh applesauce is a favorite (if time-consuming) tradition in our household. We also love jumping in leaf piles and visiting corn mazes. There’s so much to savor about autumn. I hope you’re excited about what the new season will bring.

September 2013 Calgary's ChildThe arrival of fall also usually means that we’re in the swing of the school year (or at least marginally so), but that doesn’t mean it’s any less challenging to keep things rolling on the home front, particularly when it comes to dinner. If you’ve ever struggled to figure out what to serve your family, I encourage you to check out my article, “Resolving the ‘What’s For Dinner’ Dilemma” in this month’s issue of Calgary’s Child in which I share four steps for easily planning a month’s worth of menus. The bonus for visitors to this blog? Two free meal-planning downloads: my sample menu plan, and a blank menu planning worksheet (tip: both can be customized for any meal of the day – not just dinner).

And if you have any favorite recipes/meals that you thinSeptOct13_covers:NovDec07-60pgs.qxd.qxdk other families would enjoy, please share in the comments. I love to mix up my meal rotation with some new eats and I’m sure other readers would appreciate trying mom-and-kid-approved meals.

How does your family’s fall schedule look? Have you planned in any weekly time off for your kids (and yourself)? If not, you may want to consider looking ahead to the next season and scheduling in some down time. Experts and moms explain what makes those free minutes so beneficial in “Downtime: Making Room For Nothing” (also in Calgary’s Child).

If the retail store displays are any indication, it’s not too early to be thinking about Christmas gifts (okay, so it is too early. But you’re a savvy mom who likes to stay ahead of the game, right?). If you suspect your offspring may be including a furry (or scaly) companion on their wish lists, check out the advice from those who know in “Finding Your Best Bet Pet” featured in this month’s issue of Child Guide.

Finally, if you’ve everSeptember 2013 Orlando Family taken a preschooler out in public, you’ll get a laugh from my take on the dangers of navigating public restrooms with youngsters at that age. Orlando Family’s September issue contains my humorous essay, “Modern Inconveniences.”

When “Super Moms” Make You Feel Small

I’m waiting at a stoplight when I see one again: that oval sticker on the back of a minivan that says “26.2” (or sometimes “13.1″).

26.2Are you tired of those yet? Because I am. And not because I think those who have completed a marathon don’t deserve to boast. They do. Completing a 26.2 mile race requires significant training and determination. They have joined an elite group of distance runners.

But I don’t like how broadcasting their accomplishment like this can make the rest of us feel “less than.”

You know what I’m talking about. It’s the same way you feel when that friend posts photos of her Hawaii vacation, which comes on the heels of her business trip to France.

And these women are raising children the same ages as yours. Why am I not doing more with my life, you think. It appears your daily struggles to keep the family on track will never amount to what others are pulling off.

Yet there is a cure for this feeling of being “less than.” And it’s not called “greater than.” As soon as you find an accomplishment that puts you ahead of moms around you, someone will top it. Forget making life and motherhood a competition. The answer to “less than” is “equal.”

So you’re not “super mom.” Who cares that you haven’t finished a marathon or hosted a successful benefit or traveled the world? What aspirations do you have? Would it be equivalent to completing a marathon for you to sign up for a class at the community college that might start you on the road to that degree you’ve been considering? Would pulling together a family trip to the camp you grew up going to as a kid equal another’s Hawaii vacation?

It’s time to stop feeling “less than.” Take this opportunity to consider what unmet ambitions you have, or simple goals you’d like to tackle, and start moving toward making them happen. Just acknowledging which accomplishments matter to you will empower you. You’ll be ready to seize opportunities to do more and be more.

Because we’ve all got our own 26.2 inside of us. It’s up to us to cross that finish line.

Family Bucket Lists can help you get past the 26.2’s and other common bucket list ideas that keep you feeling “less than.” It contains questions that help you tap into longings you may have ignored and past hopes you’ve let die. It enables you to create a concrete, actionable list of where you want to go in life over the next months and years. And it equips you to find the means to incorporate your list into the chaos of family life where you can start feeling successful, because you are successful (even if you’re not “super mom”).

Photo credit: 26.2 by Matt Beckwith on Flickr via CC License