Motherhood is a risk-averse calling. As nurturers of our children, we want to see them stay safe. We want to keep ourselves safe and well for our children’s sake. We’d prefer to cocoon our family in a protective bubble.
Except that bubbles don’t allow for much fun. And safety isn’t conducive to personal growth – for our children or us.
Which means we need to learn to live counter to our instincts. As moms, we’ve got to challenge ourselves to be daring.
Writing down your hopes and dreams is a daring move. It’s risky because we open ourselves – our deepest, truest selves – to scrutiny and criticism. When we declare what we want to accomplish in life, whether it’s a difference we want to make in the world through work at a non-profit, or a difference we want to see in ourselves through new experiences, we risk failure. And that makes us vulnerable.
But guess what? That’s the perfect place to begin living the bucket list life. As researcher Brene Brown says in her book, Daring Greatly, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.”
It’s daring to create a bucket list that is deep and meaningful. But it’s also powerful.
If you’re daring enough create your bucket list in earnest & not just off the top of your head , then you will have equipped yourself with the motivation you’ll need to take the next risk: living it out. Because going after your long-held (and just discovered) dreams will require that you sacrifice time, money, security. It will require doing something outside of the everyday. You’ll have to break the bubble and maybe leave your children behind for a few hours or days. You may even feel compelled to do something that seemingly risks your physical safety.
The result? As the subtitle of my book suggests, you will: Become a More Adventurous Parent. It can make all the difference in the world to who you are and how your family relates. It’s a bold move. Do you dare to take it?
This post touches me deeply because it seems, each time I walk outside my comfort zone and speak openly about it, I’m met with negativity or some type of scrutiny on one level or another. I do my best to recant with a positive comment during each instance, but I can’t help wonder why these people have to criticize . . . are they, themselves, finding difficultly in discovering their own path or their own true “self?” Do they have difficulty really examining what they want in their own bucket list? I tend to wonder if they are met with criticism, themselves, which is why they are so quick to fire back at others . . .
Jenn – I think vulnerability scares some people, which prompts those kind of
reactions. And maybe a bit of jealousy, because like you say, they may be
having difficulty finding their own path. If you haven’t read Daring Greatly, check it out. It’s a life-changer.
Thank you for the recommendation – sounds like something I definitely need to add to my list!
The most daring action I have taken would have to be having kids. There are so many unknowns, risks, and doubts everyday!
For sure! That makes me think of the Elizabeth Stone quote: “Making
the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to
have your heart go walking around outside your body.”
The most daring things i have done have been as a result of listening to the holy spirit. They have also been the most rewarding.
And I’ve seen some of the adventure that your family has experienced because of it! So true!
I FINALLY got “Daring Greatly” from the library after months on the waiting list. 🙂 I have to finish “The Gifts of Imperfection” before I can get started. I agree with Jenn that it is definitely hard to be vulnerable. The most daring thing I’ve done recently is to sign up for the Storyline conference. 🙂
Yay! Read quickly. And I’m glad you’re daring to go to Storyline. How can you go wrong with that?
“Do one thing every day that scares you” said Eleanor Roosevelt. Pure Wisdom. As I age, it’s apparent to me that the one thing that may get you further in life than anything else is a healthy sense of risk-taking. While you’re not guaranteed success, you’ll never wonder “But what if I just had tried this…” and if you DO meet with success, it will be all the more sweeter because of the risk. I love the idea of parents being “daring” and I think it’s on my Parenting Bucket List t attempt to help my kids to not be risk averse.
I love that quote by Eleanor Roosevelt! And I agree that the risk-taking we promote in our lives and for our kids needs to be healthy and bounded by common sense. Colleen, you’re one who does well at encouraging your kids to explore and try things (you can probably check that one off, or at least know you’ll check it off soon).
Today, I used a precious hour to write. It is a small thing, but the battle in my head was big enough that I feel proud. I said no to the vacuuming, assured myself the baby was fine watching me from her swing, and I reminded myself that it doesn’t have to win a Pullizer to be worthwhile. And it was. The feeling went from awkward and self-conscious, to absorbed, to deeply satisfied. When the timer rang and I had to pull away, I knew I wanted more. I will keep digging for those precious hours, because in spite of the anxiety it brings, and also because of it, I know that writing until it’s great is on my bucket list.
Wow! Laurie, that is awesome! And you offer a good example of how risk-taking doesn’t have to look risky to the outside world. It’s risky by nature of the courage it takes us to do it. I love how you track the progression from anxiety to satisfaction in your experience too. You go! Keep at it!
yikes im not much of a daredevil but I recently took a trip to universal studios and usually I am a chicken and don’t even like the ferris wheel but I figured im not gonna get this chance very often so I rode every ride and it wasn’t that bad. at least I didn’t throw up or anything
Well let’s see, I want go wing suit diving/flying, cage dive with sharks, paraglide off the grand canyon, and so many other things.
Very cool, Tonya!
I took up zip lining last year, and love it. My homeschooling family and I (hubby, four kids) are about to take a 2 month RV trip out west. Traveling EVERYWHERE is certainly on my bucket list! {found you through Natalie Eastman}
I keep thinking about zip lining – but not sure yet. So good for you! And what an amazing opportunity for your whole family – for bonding and learning. That’s awesome that you’re heading out for a trip like that.